Are You Stuck? | 5 Simple Steps to Overcome Being Stuck With Fear
Do you have days or even moments during the day where you feel like you aren’t getting anything done or just not overcoming being stuck? Do you have “fears” that seem to paralyze you from being in action? You can’t get to your goals or dreams, or even to the end of your to-do list, for that matter. How do you move past your obstacles in yourself and in your own business?
Here goes. I begin this blog for the….4th time! Yesterday, I began it 3 times and today I was to come back to the 3 version to finish it. But after my computer freezing up and me needing to reboot it (talk about being stuck!), it all disappeared… So, ok. It is gone. Somehow I don’t think my article must have hit a nerve with me and probably wouldn’t have with you. So I start a new one. How about doing a blog on dealing with frustration, especially with not getting somewhere? Or not being able to see the results of your hard work? How does one handle this? How do you overcome your fears? Actually, it isn’t that big of a deal. I love to write and others say I write quite well, so I don’t worry about starting a new. I take this all in stride. But this hasn’t always been so….
One of my best traits has always about being thorough, well, maybe more thorough than most. However, I am not a perfectionist. I enjoy getting things done well, but I also don’t make people miserable if THEY don’t do as well as I’d like them to. This wasn’t the case with LaMar, a lady in the company’s Human Resources where I was working..
LaMar: “You did it wrong! Again!”
My job was to collect new hire paperwork and make sure all were completely filled out and then hand them over to LaMar to be entered into the database. This took about 30 minutes of the new hire’s time to fill out, and involved filling out at least 12 sheets of paper! After my first initial of attempts of trying to be “thorough and complete”, I kept missing something, and getting the wrath of LaMar! I finally devised a plan that would ensure that all of the work was done and thus so protect me from LaMar calling out loudly across the office “you did it wrong! Again!” I messed up – again! Being called out was humiliating for me. So this time, I was ready. I marked each sheet with MY symbol and counted. The final sheet would indicate that all sheets were present. I wouldn’t hand it over until it was all checked off. This time I did just that and placed the papers in the file for LaMar. When she retrieved them to work on the new hire papers, it wasn’t a surprise that I’d hear her call my name again! I calmly went over to her, looked at the papers, saw my marks, and said, “My papers are complete, and total upon my handing them in to you. My papers show that I checked them off as complete. YOU have somehow lost the page(s) in question.” I then calmly walked away. She didn’t know what to say. She fumbled in her stack some more when I then heard her say – much more quietly (why is that?) – that she had found it. She didn’t yell out to me in that way again. My goal was to keep the new hire process complete and thorough and moving in ONE direction, not slowing the process by blaming others for work not done satisfactorily. I accomplished this and removed my frustration by being organized and effective at MY job. I eventually, became known as a problem solver in my work and was given assignments that would improve processes. I grew and became good at what I did.
And the Moral of the Story Is….
Why this story? As we desire to grow into effective and successful business owners, we will come across occasions where we hit a road block or fail. Let’s just say we never fail unless we choose to by quitting. So if you don’t quit, you’ve only hit a roadblock and need to make a detour. This story illustrates LaMar as being the roadblock to my success. She didn’t believe in my abilities, and was so self assured that she would never make any mistakes that if one occurred it was someone else’s fault! Too often, as people tackle new endeavors and when things get hard and don’t work out, the excuses begin to show up. “So-and-so didn’t call me back”, “It got lost in the mail”, “they turned the report in late”, “I had so many things to do, I couldn’t finish it”, “he did it wrong”, etc. You can imagine all of the possibilities of why things may not go right. If it were an assignment that HAD to be completed, in a job situation, you could have lost your job. Would you FIRE yourself as a business owner? Probably not, but should you?! But a nice thing about being the business owner – you can hire yourself back into the job!
Your attitude toward when things don’t work out, where they seem too difficult to do, when they take too much time or when they just seem to be failing, will determine your ultimate success. When I knew that LaMar had a tendency to place blame on others, like on me, unfortunately, I had to find a way to end that. My mistakes allowed her to blame me. I could have confronted her angrily and denied my failure and just tell her to just “deal with it”, but I chose to find a solution instead! That is how we need to face our failures, our mis-steps, or our detours in our growth as a business or as a business owner! Find the answers to bring about the change and then put them to work!
So if you are feeling stuck because of a failed attempt in your business endeavor or project, or in your own personal growth, how can you get over being stuck? I am not sure I have the definitive answers to solve this problem. Each person is different and approaches their status of being stuck differently. Here are things that have helped me – not exactly in order:
5 Simple Steps to Overcome Being Stuck
- Be immersed in prayer and conversation with God, let Him lead you. He sees your over all plans and has His fingerprints all over them! Let Him lead. He placed that dream in your heart, He will want to see it happen for you!
- Have a mentor to help you sort out the fluff and to help you focus on your solutions/answers. Be sure your mentor is someone who is like-minded and has had success and paved a road for you to follow. Allowing your neighbor or your spouse even, to help you, may not be the wisest choice of counsel. They may care for you deeply, but they haven’t walked in your shoes! Find a mentor who has.
- Create a list of pros and cons. This is simple but very good at bringing clarity to simple to complex decisions.
- Ask “why” seven times. This is a Six Sigma strategy for effective business processes. It also helps one to identify their passion and reason for doing what they are doing. This strategy of asking 7 Why’s is so important and may tell you some things you never ever thought about. Read more on the 7 Whys here: Inspire Yourself to Greatness! Ask Why 7 Times!
- Lastly, and the hardest one for me, walk straight into your fears! Often times those fears just aren’t real. They just aren’t there! One of my greatest fears is to just pick a random person to start up a conversation with! Silly and very simple, but it has been a road block for me! I’ve had to recall a very frightening incident (you can read about that here: Have Confidence! All I Could Think Was “This Is It! I Could Die!”) that could have ended my life, but I made it through alive! I braved that pretty well, I thought. So why should talking to people scare me? Recently, I got the help to learn why. Now I know. I faced possible death. Now I know. Now I must still GO and DO the very thing that scares me in order to overcome it. I must walk straight into my fear and see myself come out the other side! Saying “that’s easier said than done”, is a cop out! I can’t say it any more. Neither can you! So are you allowing yourself to being stuck because of a fear? It is in the doing the very thing that causes you fear and having faith that you will come out ahead, that will propel you forward, further than you can imagine!